Her Defining Moments

Just Keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming.

2011-08-04T04:25:00.000+08:00

"If it did not rain, nothing would grow."

-Oprah Winfrey

Change.

We all do, don't we?

Even at this very moment, at 3.18am, alone, cuddling up in my warm, comfy, cozy bed, change is taking place. From changing profile pictures to changing mindsets. From changing relationship statuses to changing our destiny. We're all changing. Even if we're not, our surroundings are.

Change is inevitable, and we all very well know that. Yet, I for one, hate change. Okay so maybe 'hate' is too strong a word. I dislike change. I get contented very fast. I adapt fast and well. I like things just the way they are. I like tight schedules. I like procedures. I like protocol. I like predictability. I like being in-the-know. I like knowing what's next. I like control. I like having a say. I like foreseeing into the future. I like consistency.

I don't like trying new places to eat all the time. I'm fine with eating the same food or in the same shop everyday.
I don't like changing my wallpapers. I like them just the way they are.
I don't like changing my plans if they had already been planned accordingly. I like things to go just the way it has been planned prior to the event.
I don't like changing brands. I like using the same brands for products I use. (It's called brand-loyalty! hehe)
I don't like spontaneous surprises. I like consistent schedules or routines cause life gets disorientated and feels a wee bit aimless otherwise.
I don't like changing hairstyles. I like my same hairstyle all the time. (But thank God for a wonderful hairdresser who pushes me too! She's made me more daring in more ways than one.)
I don't like shifting. I like current buildings, rooms and spaces.
I don't like changing passwords, usernames or telephone numbers. I like all my personal data just the way they I've set them or has been given to me.

I don't like it when systems are changed.

I don't like it when status quos are changed.

I don't like it when the norm is changed.

But you see, the problem is, all these things I like? They don't get along well with change. In fact, they're in contrary to the very fundamental values and concept of change. I think I dislike change because I miss the old. I get attached to things and people very fast. So the very moment things change, I get the overwhelming nostalgic feeling. I always feel that the old carries too much memories and significant moments which are just too much to let go. I fear that change will wash away those memories. I sometimes think that change would lead to worse than before. I fear change.

So, very well knowing that , I changed. I changed in response to change.

At some point, we all change.

People change.
Cultures change.
Characters change.
Priorities change.
Focuses change.
Plans change.
Rules change.
Trends change.
Opinions change.
Feelings change.
Commitments change.

So at the end of the day, what are we left with? An enormous spiral of manipulation and uncertainty which leaves everybody at a lost and in dying need of answers. People turn to so many mediums, in search of acceptance, all because change happens too often, too quickly. People get robbed off their self-esteem, confidence, anything and everything they held on to, because change hits them so hard it brings them to their knees, in survival mode, striving to cope.

But then again, one thing. Just one thing, does not change. Yeah, you guessed it. - God.

And the Almighty, foreseeing and knowing that there was gonna be a lot of change happening in the future, predicting that change would rip His people off into wonder, knowing that change would inevitably come upon us, already assured us, loud and clear, for the whole world to hear, that He is the same. Yesterday, today and forever. It is as though he gave us a solution even before the problem occurred.

God doesn't change. How can He? He's already the Almighty. How much Almighty-er can he get? He is already the best. How much best-er can he get? And boy am I glad He can't change. Cause imagine if He could, the thought of it alone scares me. What if today he decides that He ain't gonna forgive? Or tomorrow He decides that He ain't gonna be merciful?

I'm glad. I'm glad that I have one constant in my life. Though sometimes I stand smack in the center of my life, studying the changes happening all 360 degrees around me, and get a wee bit freaked out at how I'm gonna cope with all that, I know that there's one constant.

The God who blessed Abraham to the very end - He blesses me too.
The God who was faithful to King David - He is faithful to me too.
The God who tested Job - He is testing me too.
The God who delivered the people from Egypt - He can deliver me too.
The God who healed all the people in the Bible - He can heal me too.

Consistency. Even after 2000 years. Now that's amazing.

However, going back to change. Change is inevitable. But change is also inevitably good.

Change opens up our mind to a whole new arena of impossibilities. Change empowers us to fight for what we believe in. Change pushes us for more. Change proves that we're not sitting on our laurels when the current system is not productive. Change reaches out to more lives. Change is trying out new possibilities. Change is saying "Nope, I'm not giving up yet." Change is taking a small seed of thought or idea and planting for it's potential. Change is saying "It may not be perfect, but at least it's something". Change redirects us. Change shows us that maybe, just maybe, there is a better way of doing things.

So as a result, I've been very drawn to change. Though it's not easy, in fact, it is a mini battle everyday to make a conscious effort to invite change. Yet, change has enriched my life in so many ways, and it's something I've grown to love. So propose to me a change on any given day, and I'll reply you "I'll think about it." And I really will, for I have finally understood and appreciate the principles of change.

Yet I believe the key to any and every aspect of life, is balance. So while change is inevitable and good, God and principles remain constant. Balance. It's all about balance.

'Twas just another day - in 25 bullet points

2011-06-23T00:06:00.003+08:00

"It's not the hours you put into your work that counts,

It's the work you put into the hours."

- Sam Ewing

Pulled myself outta bed at 8am.
Got ready in award-winning time.
Fed the dog
Cleaned the dog's pee. (He peed near the car! grrrr.)
Scolded the dog.
Reached Uni in one piece.
Parked 1000 kilometers away from class.
Walked 1000 kilometers to class.
Made it in time for class.
Ate Norwegian sandwich for the 3rd week in a row now- Every. Single. Day.
Headed to the '2nd home' to get some Contract done.
Had some epic moments in the library, as usual.
Walked back 1000 kilometers to the car.
Headed for a 25-lap swim at the gym in Empire (Yes, they have a swimming pool! - with very salty water, yucks!)
Bathed at the gym.
Smelt of the gym.
Bought groceries at Jaya Grocers (By the way, I'm so very impressed with Jaya! Love the layout and variety! Such a joy to shop.)
Lost parking ticket.
Found parking ticket.
Drove back to Klang.
Noticed that the new traffic light outside my house is finally up and working! Woohoo!
Made it back in one piece. (I'm talking about the car)
Took the dog out for a "walk".
Laughed at the dog trying to chase a cat away. (He was more afraid of the cat than the cat was of him. Lousy.)
Made Bruschetta a la Julie & Julia and Campbell cream mushroom soup (Best homemade dish I've ever made!)

A good day, don't you think?

#26. (Yet to be done. Totally dreading it - clean the dog's poo. Somebody helpppp. Anybody?)

p/s: I don't know how I'm gonna survive doing everything by myself in the UK. Already thinking of self-declaring a rest day tomorrow. Talk about independence. Well at least we can strike off the long distance driving. And the dog.

If There's One Thing

2011-06-20T03:07:00.000+08:00

They just make me happy.

Don't they make you?

All courtesy of DC Cupcakes - where cupcakes are baked with true passion, love and sugar!

Don't wait till you have no more feet to truly appreciate your shoes

2011-06-19T00:45:00.001+08:00

"There more you praise and celebrate life,

the more there is in life to celebrate."

-Oprah Winfrey

Taking things for granted. That has been playing through my mind for the last couple of weeks. From the simplest of things to the other extreme, - we all take things for granted.

I've come to realize that taking things for granted is a two-way process, unlike how we all perceive it to be.

Children take their parents for granted.
Parents take their children for granted.

Students take their teachers for granted.
Teachers take their students for granted.

Leaders take their members for granted.
Members take their leaders for granted.

Church members take their pastor for granted.
Pastor takes the church members for granted.

Husbands take their wife's ~~cooking~~ for granted.
Wives take their husband's ~~money~~ for granted.

(hehehehehehe.)

Employers take their employees for granted.
Employees take their employers for granted.

The older generation take the younger generation for granted.
The younger generation take the older generation for granted.

Friends take each other for granted.

Neighbours take each other for granted.

Families take each other for granted.

We all take each other for granted.
We take God for granted.

But we not only take people for granted. We take things for granted too. C'mon, when was the last time we complained, grumbled and mumbled about our house, car, education, church, laptop, handphone, room, bed?

See, we all take things for granted.

Taking things for granted is part of our mortal human nature. You don't realize it, you can't control it. Well not all the time, at least. Most of the time, we start taking things for granted when we are in a state of contentment, familiarity and normally after a long period of time. We start taking things for granted when there is a reliance without recognition, trust without trying and belief without bothering. We start taking things for granted when we know things will always be just the way they are, people will be always there for us, with no second thought or even possibility that they may not be. Taking things for granted is simply being so oblivious to the fact that God gives and takes away.

Taking things for granted begins with this one little thing. One little thing that would cause heroes to fall, rich men to beg and famous men to go undercover. This one little thing causes people to quit their jobs, people to leave churches, people to lose passion. That one little thing? - The lack of appreciation.

Think about it, the lack of appreciation is the root of all mishaps. The moment someone conveniently forgets a 'thank you' or take 2 seconds to recognize one's minute effort, that will be the first of many steps into the arena of taking it for granted. The moment we don't consciously know and remind ourselves time and again that everything and everyone we have can be taken away from us in just one split second, we already started taking things for granted.

Someone wise once said "Sometimes, we have to lose things before we can truly appreciate them". I can't help but to agree whole-heartedly.

Sometimes, it is only when precious people who do the smallest little background things leave us, that we truly appreciate their presence.

Sometimes, it is only when our cars refuse to start in the mornings to Uni that we truly appreciate having a well-running car all these times.

Sometimes, it is only when we're, exam-free, stressed-free and too free that we truly appreciate the value of a busy, routine-filled, hectic and scheduled life.

Sometimes, it is only when our internet is down when we need it most that we truly appreciate our Streamyx. (although most of us are ditching it for Unifi! hee.)

Beginning this year, I embarked on a personal journey of appreciation. It's nothing big, just small thank-you's but sincere smiles to show my appreciation and utmost gratitude, especially to people who serve me. From restaurant waiters, to the Taylors parking attendants, to the toilet cleaner ladies, to strangers, to sales people. From baking cupcakes for my housing area security guards, to sending long emails and texts to friends. From spending random people meals just because I feel like 'blessing' someone, to telling my Popo that she is the best cook in the whole wide world when I get the chance to eat her home-cooked food every Monday afternoon. From outright pulling someone aside and telling them they did a good job to silently cheering them on, keeping them in prayer, in their race of life. Appreciation.

Most of the time, the first reaction I get is one of total shock followed by an overwhelming smile. That tells me that they don't receive that a lot. Or rather, people don't appreciate other people enough. And it's more than just brightening up their day, or fulfilling my quota of good deeds in a day.

Instead, it never fails to remind me that "Hey, that very well could have been me. If I had been born to different parents, under different circumstances and different upbringing, I could be the one cleaning those toilets. That could have very well been me sweeping other people's mess in the library or serving teh o ais limau at the mamak shop. That could have been me."

And at the end of the day, I feel blessed so much more. I feel gratified. I received so much more than I gave.

See sometimes, we think that appreciation is about making others feel better. Making others feel loved, recognized, cherish. But more often than not, we fail to notice that appreciation benefits us. It makes us better people. It increases our value as human beings. It reflects our principles, our standings, our compassion.

It's just like how people often go to orphanages with the intention to bless the kids there, but in return they come back so much more blessed in many folds. It's exactly the same. We think we're doing people a favour by appreciating them, but in return, our lives are so much more enriched and valuable by appreciating them.

"I had no shoes and complained,

Until I met a man who had no feet"

-Indian Proverb

Completely describes the art of taking things for granted and appreciation beautifully. Enough said.

I think if we make a conscious effort to take less things and people for granted and instead, appreciate things and people a little more, the world would be a better place to live in.

And as often as this is said, it all starts with you.

So hey, let's all start appreciating, shall we?

Don't wait till you have no more feet to truly appreciate your shoes. ;)

15 Things I Wish I Knew Earlier

2011-05-23T23:28:00.004+08:00

"Don't wish it were easier,

wish you were better."

-Jim Rohn

1. My God is a God who not only cares but also takes care of my needs. Do not worry, for tomorrow will worry for itself. Worrying will not add a single second or value to your life. The number of peaceful sound-sleeping nights I wouldn't have wasted if I knew (or rather, believed) this earlier than I did.

2. My semester break dates so that I could've booked flights earlier to Sydney for Hillsong Conference! Can't believe I'm missing it. Want to go so badly! Tickets are so expensive now. Sigh.

3. Orientation week was not as compulsory as it appeared to be! No doubt it was fun and all, I can't help but think they were only trying to scare us as newbies in a new environment. C'mon! They totally freaked us out, I can't believe we fell for that. Newbies.

4. Hitler. Ugh, I still remember that eventful day in Mr. Lee's Physics tuition when my two buddies shrieked "You don't know who's Hitler?!" and the word went around "Irin doesn't know who's Hitler." Became big news back then. Sadder news, they were actually comparing me to Hitler. Okay I'm so not Hitler okay please. Hitler was controlling.

5. KESAS is indeed the fastest way to get to Uni although I dread that long stretch of Summit Madness. But, just like what any other person with a sound mind would do, I become intentionally oblivious to the guilt-provoking signboards and just potong lah. C'mon, if we're really gonna dwell about being courteous, we'd all be late for classes and work. Now what good would that be?

6. My ATM Card also functions as a Debit Card! Hoorah Maybank! All those trips I could've saved to the ATM machines.

Also, always, always, always, always have cash with you. (or a credit card would do too. hee) I've learned this tough and painful lesson so many times I've lost count. Roaming around the streets with no cash at all, thinking I'm some bigshot of Klang. No honey, you'll always need cash. Whether it's to buy a cone of McD's ice-cream on the way back just because you're craving for it or you got into an accident so you'll have to pay them something or even just to pump some petrol to get you home. You ALWAYS need cash. Always. I now keep spare cash with me everywhere I go. I stash cash in every possible area, just to be safe. Pencil box, car, side pocket of every handbag, secret pocket in purse, everywhere.

7. It all starts with one small lie. Then you need a bigger lie to cover up the small lie. Then you create an even bigger lie to cover up that big lie. And at the end of the day, you're left with a whole mess of lies you have to sort out. It's like a spider's web. It takes more to make more. So don't start, even if it's just a small one.

8. The only way the sell your product or argument is by mere self-confidence. The content or product does not matter. As long as you look, sound and appear to be convincing, no judge, expert or superior won't fall for you. I've seen people who are so convincing, confident and sure of himself but at the end of the day as I went home and ponder about it, I realized it was all, pure, crap. See, the power of confidence. I've learned this a lot through debates and public speaking. People don't win because they make sense, people win because they're confident in what they're saying even though it doesn't make sense.

9. People come from different walks of life. Every one has a past. Every one has a story. I don't have a clue about their life based on what they look or how they speak. So don't underestimate, don't judge, don't assume. Be accepting, be accommodating, be open.

So always build friendships, never enemies. No matter how much you dislike, despise or resent someone, always try to build friendships. It doesn't have to be a good friendship. In fact, you don't even have to talk. But never create enemies. They come and bite you in the back, when you least expect it. Random note: I am enemy-free. Or at least I think I am!

10. My iPhone can do wonders. Seriously, wonders. I think sometimes I still get stuck in the whole Nokia and Sony Ericsson phase and forget that life can be so much easier. For example, HDR function on iPhone camera. Or even simpler stuff like, back when I had a Sony Ericsson phone, if someone asked me for a friend's number, what would I do? I would memorize the number, or say it out loud 500 times until I memorize it, then type it back out in a new text. With an iPhone, all you have to do is copy and paste. Sometimes, I just forget life has been made easier. ;)

11. When people promise you the world, don't be too quick to fall for it. Many times, we get too gullible when people close to our hearts promise us the future, the best. When this happens, we should protect our hearts all the more. Protect our mind, soul and body all the more. Keep yourself sane, rational. And I'm not just talking about relationships. I'm talking about business deals, jobs, investments. Whatever it may be, never let your guard down to promises. Because most of the time, they remain unfulfilled. Definitely learned this the hard way back when I was young, dumb and just too innocent.

12. Love yourself, and others will love you back. Many a times, we imitate, we become wanna-bes. We copy. Whether it's towards our heroes, our mentors or even our peers, we all have a tendency to act like, speak like, behave like someone. It all boils down to the power of influence.

Don't get me wrong, it's not wrong to wanna-be like someone. It's not wrong to self-improve, idolize or whatever you call it. In fact, it's good that we all look up to someone. I myself do admire people that adds value to my life, that has strong character and principles, that is not afraid to live up to his calling. But to everything, there is a limit. The world doesn't need clones. So why clonify yourself? If you don't love yourself, don't expect others to love you. You were born an original. Don't die a copy.

13. Always look back a couple of times before you reverse! Yes, I've officially taken out my P sticker and yes, I'm an official driver now! Over the past 2 years, I have been in only one major accident, at that was because I didn't look back enough before I reversed. So I banged straight into an old Proton Saga. 150 bucks, burnt just like that.

I've heard lots of stories about people reversing into kids and it's just really sad and scary at the same time. One of my favourite singers, Steven Curtis Chapman too went through a major family tragedy when his son reversed into his younger daughter in their driveway. So people, you can never look too many times in the rear view mirror and turning your head back before reversing!

14. Expressions can kill. If you know me, I sometimes have big, exaggerated expressions. Whether it's something surprising, devastating or joyful, I have been told that I have amazing facial expressions. There was once a friend who was excited beyond her natural being, filled with good news she wanted to share with me. Then she stopped at her tracks and went "Wait, I don't want to tell you now. I want to tell you face-to-face just so I can see your expression!". And I had to immediately Skype her for the good news because she literally wanted to see my face.

Some people find it nice to have someone responsive and expressive to things they say (Yes, you can go ahead and tell me news, good or bad, and I'll make you believe that I totally get and fell you. Really.) while others don't. Sometimes, expressions get misunderstood and misinterpreted. So I've tried to make a conscious effort to be less expressive (I know, sounds a little dumb right -.- I find it rather dumb myself) or at least be more aware in front of unenthusiastic (and hypersensitive) people. But other than that, my face speaks louder than my words.

Honestly, I do not fancy talking to expressionless people. Tell them good news or bad news, they give you the "oh okay" face. Sometimes you can't even tell if they're alright or not. Such a killjoy.

15. God can say 'No' to your prayers. Many times we question God why He doesn't answer our prayers. Well, He does. But sometimes, just not the way and reasoning we expect it to be. A 'no' is an answer by itself. So God has already answered our prayers, it's just the answer is a 'no'. Sometimes, a 'no' from God means He has a way better plan for us. So hey, delight in your 'no's' as much as you delight in your 'yes's'.

Candid.

2011-05-22T00:14:00.000+08:00

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather,

always bring your own sunshine."

-Anthony J. D'Angelo

In the words of Forrest the Great

"Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates

You never know what you gonna get."

Oh how I'd like to meet that mama
Who did not disguise the truth nor paint a perfect picture

But instead had sincere guts and dignity

To utter those profound words to her son

And I'd like to tell her she was nothing but right.

Because life's no bed of flowers

No lilies for you to get through the bad days

No roses for you to celebrate heartbreak

No sunflowers for you to show you that

What little Annie sang was true

Indeed the sun will come out tomorrow.

Life's no postcard perfect picture that we all

Get into positions everyone, pose and smile

Life waits for no men, they say
You either live, or you don't

No, it does not go "1...2...3..."

It snaps.

Whether your eyes are half opened, just about to sneeze

Or staring into space in childlike wonder

It snaps.

When you're laughing your heart out

With all 32 teeth for the world to see

The moment your eyes and head gently beam down

Controlled joy mixed with a pinch of sadness

The very moment the definition of true beauty appears.
It snaps.

You see, life throws shots like that

The split second right before you're ready

Just 1.483092 seconds away from staring straight to the camera

In eloquent poise

Flaunting your perfect white-teethed smile

It snaps.

And you'd think oh what a wasted shot

Until you look back and realize the beauty
Saying "hey, that's perfect."

Failures, breakdowns, death

It snaps.

Surprises, delights, amusement

It snaps.

Making life all the more worth living

To remind us that living should not be taken

For granted nor too seriously

They are meant to loosen you when you're too tight

To tighten you when you're too loose

Words, actions or even epiphanies

It snaps.

They make you, they break you

Either way those are the ones that we'll all remember

For the many years to come

The random "Hey I think you have a beautiful smile"

or maybe the "Hey maybe you should not talk like that"

See?

Nasty or nice

They will replay in our minds for the many days ahead.

Those unguarded things

Make the largest scars in our life

How we'd all wish that temptation would humbly

Knock at our door

Warning us gullible beings of its presence

How we'd all wish tears would indicate themselves

Just like how the thunder and lightning

Paths the way for a storm and rain

Wouldn't it be nice

If we could all plan our happiness and sorrow?

But no.

We get unpleasant surprises, unwanted predicaments.

Aiming with intense position

At any moment in any way

As random as raindrops on the ceiling top.

I say it's all about handling the moment

Just like how everyone has the potential to look good in candid shots

Everyone can handle those unplanned moments in life with poise

Just like how you don't need to be photogenic for candid shots

No, we don't need good looks, money or fame to get through life

What we need?
The courage, joy and perseverance

All that surpasses mere understanding

That knows no intimidation to what life has to offer when
It snaps.

But you see

These are shots that are valued at priceless

For they capture the moments unnoticed

The moments we thought no one was watching

The moments you let your guard down

The moments of pure insecurity in your own skin

The moments you fall and struggle to pick yourself back up again

These, capture the essence of what makes life

Beautiful beyond measure

Marvelous beyond words

Sometimes, we all have to embrace those snapped moments

The ones that swarms when you least expect it

With no sense of manners or warning

And turning them into defining moments

Moments that are embroidered in the depths of our memory

Because no matter how much we plan

Those unprepared moments remind us

Time and time again that life is meant to be

Spontaneous.

Unplanned.

Candid.

So rejoice in those captured moments
Where there is an overload of sincerity in your expression
It snaps.
Though it catches you off guard
Cause just when you think
That had to be the worst picture ever taken
It becomes candid again
Catching you off guard again
Turning out to be
Picture perfect
Grateful indeed that it snapped.
And that, is a candid moment by itself.

10 Things Malacca Had To Offer

2011-05-17T01:31:00.008+08:00

Okay so this will be the very first time I shall be officially blogging about my very own life event. If you haven't already noticed, I hardly talk about day-to-day happenings. What more now, looking at my blog stats, I'm even more afraid to do so. I'm now twice more careful of what I write. I did not know there are so many of you silent readers! Scarrryyyyy.

Anyhow I decided to blog about this simply because it was one trip to remember. And rarely do we have trips like this. It was history-making indeed. Ngeh.

It's one of the class trips I could finally make it, due to other commitments. And boy, was I glad I did.

Destination: Malacca.

1. Malacca-ians are sooooo hospitable, they even argue amongst themselves which is the best place to take us. For every specialty, there's always that one shop that is claimed to be the best. Be it chicken rice balls, cendol or satay celup. Everyone want's to bring us to their best place to try the best food. As a result, we ate our around Malacca, me, feeling obese after each stop. But seriously, hats off to Malacca-ians for their incredible hospitality. Always asking if we're alright, if the food is good, if we're having a good time, if we're loving Malacca. Of course we did. ;)

2. It's amazing (to me, at least) how we all come from different backgrounds and walks of life, but unite as one cohort, in the name of having a good time (and for the love of food). I personally think, it takes a conscious effort and decision to put aside our differences, no matter who we are or where we come from, to build bridges that I think, would last a lifetime. We all have different priorities and agendas in life yet we come together in the name of a common interest.
Loud vs soft, adventurous vs not-so-adventurous, loves eating vs loves shopping, spendthrift vs thrifty, tensed vs relaxed, can eat pork vs cannot eat pork (HAHA), and the list goes on.

We're so different, yet so similar. That, never fails to amaze me.

3. We Law students are finally talking Law talk. Like seriously, they warned us this was gonna happened. I just didn't think it'd be this soon. From pointless conversations, we're now talking about "Would we all be considered joint accomplices if Larissa died?"

Our vocabularies have now pleasantly included the terms mandatory life imprisonment, mens rea, actus reus, joint participation and even murder. Instead of talking about our love life, movies, music, or any other issue a reasonable 19-year old would talk about, we now contemplate the law regarding possible charges we could face if Larissa died.

It's not like we intentionally induce our Law-geekness into every conversation we have, it just comes. It's like God. Side effects of Law School, I guess? Okayyyy, so you're wondering why is Larissa supposed to die. Well, what happens in Malacca stays in Malacca. Ngeh.

4. Random facts about the city of Malacca:

The historic Stadthuys in Malacca is pronounced Stad-house.
The Eye on Malaysia has closed down. It is now the Glaucoma of Malacca. They then replicated a smaller version of the wonderful ferris wheel, which is also recently become redundant. That's called the Cataract of Malacca. Hahahahaha. Okay lah sorry that's a joke the Malacca people came up with. I just found it hilarious. It's okay if you don't get it.
Don't mess with the Poke-Finger-Into-Coconut-Man on Jonker Street. He scolds passers-by who smoke. He scolds the trishaw man for blasting music. He scolds people who punches his coconut. He's like a mafia. But a very entertaining one.
They have left U-turns. They also have special traffic lights for U-turns. How insane is that?! They must really have a thing for U-turns.
Malacca traffic lights are such a bummer.
They have funny names of streets and landmarks like Bukit Cina and Pokok Mangga.

5. Hiiiii.

What's your name?

I'm from Law School.

I'm a pastor's daughter.

I'm going to hell?

I need to pee.

'Nuff said.

6. When in doubt, stop talking. Go to sleep.

7. Two words: Coconut Shake.
Heavenly delicacy on a scorching hot day. Sitting by the roadside, just me and my coconut shake. It's located at Pulau Gadong. A definite must-try if you're visiting Malacca! One of the best things we tasted. To the point where some of us are still dreaming about it.

8. Pacts. :) Pacts are insanely useful, because it assures you that you're in this alone, that we're in this together. It makes you take chances. It makes you live it out. It makes you feel like you've stroked off another thing to do before you die. Yet it makes you accountable to someone. Making pacts with buddies, ones that you can one day tell your grandchildren - now that's something cool.

I can so foresee myself saying "On a Friday the 13th 2011, your grandma.....Yes, your grandmother was that happening. Now go study."

Definitely my first and last time. So, no regrets. :)

9. Sometimes, we all have to be a little patient to see the results. No results doesn't mean things are not happening for the results to be released. So just wait patiently and enjoy the ride while the results are being resulted.

It's like how we sometimes say God can answer our prayers in three ways: Yes, No or Wait. So sometimes, life is all about waiting.

10. The next year and a half looks pretty awesome to me with friends like these. Indeed, my best days are ahead of me.

The Historic City of Malacca. Very historic indeed. Pun intended.

Pictures thanks to Jeralyn Kan, Yih Shan and Larissa.

10 Things I Know To Be True

2011-05-10T21:48:00.002+08:00

1. The Earth is definitely going through some transition phases, seeing how the weather has been acting up. I don't remember Malaysia being this hot!

2. What goes around, comes around. It's as simple as that. What you sow is what you reap. And it has nothing to do with karma. It's just a principle we live by. Never get tired of sowing into lives, the crop you reap is always fulfilling.

3. The best times of your life are in University. Someone once told me that. And boy was she right.

4. Home is the best place to be. The smell of home, and everything in it. Pack my suitcases, throw me on a plane to UK this year, I'll be the first to die. And I'm not even exaggerating.

5. A couple who laughs together, stays together. Laugh not just at others, but at yourself. A little sense of humour goes a long way.

6. Inner beauty trumps outer beauty any day. One day, we will all sag, grow bald and rot. But our joy, peace and love will never.

7. Music never fails to uplift your soul. Whatever genre, artiste or even lyrics. Songs that have the most played counts on my iTunes can make me dance even when the tears are streaming down.

8. The more you hate something or someone, the more time you need to spend time with it. You don't fall in love, you grow in love. Example: Contract Law. (Big, big sigh)

9. Words are the biggest weapon of mankind. They make or break you. Words alone can change lives. Why do you think Twitter is such a hit?

10. A perfect meal would be Klang Boston (Hokkien Mee, Nestum Prawn and Steam Lala), bubble tea in Klang town (Malt Oreo with pearl, Orea toppings inside out) and lok lok (attack the cheese sausage!) for supper in that small blue shed by the roadside. A perfect Wednesday is made up of a short lecture, Japanese food, maybe a movie, cinema popcorn, Chi Liung pasar malam and good friends who will tag along while you get all these done.

A List of Why We Should Make Lists

2011-05-10T21:22:00.002+08:00

"Great mind discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people."

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Lists. - Something we all live by, in one way or another.

For some of us, our lists might like this:

And for others, well, it may look something like this:

At the end of the day, we all taught and trained to live by lists - sometimes, literally. In primary school, we used to write a list of our daily homework that needs to be completed. When we get a little older, people encourage us to write a list of characteristics we want in our future partner. Tall, dark, handsome they say? And then the world says you must have completed the list of 5C's to be recognized as 'successful': Cash, Car, Condominium, Credit Card, Career.

See, at the end of the day, it's all about checking one point after another.

I, for one, love lists. I live by them. I find them productive, motivating and even addictive sometimes. Mainly because I like to be in control of myself and my surroundings but on the other hand, lists also draw the line between what I can do and what is just simply beyond my control. It sometimes reminds me that I am only human. So, what I can do, I do. And what I can't, I don't.

I love the sheer feeling of accomplishment when my black gel pen crosses over words that are sometimes so fulfilling.

I love the moment at the end of the day when I gaze at my to-do list in my planner, smiling to myself with a tiny sense of pride mixed with a large dose of gratitude to God for sustaining me through the day.

I love the fact that complicated things become so simple when I list them down step by step and follow through whole-heartedly.

I love the fact that some things on my list will never get crossed off for years or even forever, yet every time I flip through old lists, it reminds me that I once dreamed big and someday, somehow, it will happen.

I love the fact that sometimes, lists are not meant to be followed.

See, I just wrote a list on why I love lists. Sigh.

Sometimes, I can't help but laugh at myself for the most random, unnecessary lists I come up with. Like "People to Take for A Meal" or "Things I Should Learn Before I Leave for UK" or "Aunty-Like Things I Want to Learn" (which includes, baking (CHECK), knitting, making pottery), "My Happy Songs", "People I Want to Meet" and "People to Take Picture With".

I also can't help but think that sometimes, God laughs at me while I'm writing my lists. Yes, sometimes God may be laughing at us when we're telling him our plans for our lives. Because He knows it all. In fact, He planned them for you!

Either way, lists are meant for good and not evil. Lists are meant to enrich your life by pushing you to do more and showing you what you are capable of. Lists are meant for you to look back and say "Wow, I did that!". Lists are meant to remind you of the little things that matter to you that makes your life whole. Lists are meant to teach you to rejoice and celebrate in your small victories. Lists are meant to encourage you to dream big. Because if you don't dream big, what's the use of dreaming? List are meant to clarify your thoughts, to direct you in chasing your goals. Lists are meant to allow you lie on your death bed peacefully with nothing less than pure satisfaction, and say "I've fought a good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

So hey, whether you're a somewhat organized person who lives by lists or a totally spontaneous, all-over-the-place kind of person, writing down a list once in a while wouldn't hurt. What's the worst that could happen? It's either you don't cross out anything or you throw it away. It doesn't matter if your lists are piles of scrap paper every where, like mine, or you have a mental list in your mind, it's always good to know you're getting somewhere.

Because somewhere is always better than nowhere.

Beauty.

2011-05-07T00:18:00.004+08:00

"If you want to stand out, don't be different.

Be outstanding."

-Meredith West

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, they say.
But sometimes I can't help but wonder
Does it really?
Does the layers of manufactured powder
Mixed with artificial love and sense of security not matter
Does the ink that covers up every hurt, every criticism,
That so carefully lines the delicate shape of our lips not matter?
Does the incense that we splash rather than dab,
Sprayed at the perfect timing to last the entire day not matter?

Who are we kidding
Beauty lies in the eyes of the world.
For they tell you how to dress, behave, believe.
They mark the territories that shape our life
They say one day you're in and the next day you're out
I wonder
Who ever came up with that
Who calls the shots that laces are in today
Wools are out tomorrow
Who broadcasts these statements across a live audience
And sets the unchallenged rules that flats are in and boots are not
Did I miss the show?

Truth is we are so defined by the florals, brands and pricetags
We're terrified to even embrace it
What happened to wearing our hearts on our sleeves?
To laugh without being afraid your stockings might tear
To humiliate as if laughing at yourself was self-gratifying
To be wild and never trade it for an earring
To be carefree and not bother if your cleavage is too low, or your panties can be seen under that skirt

If we all wore our hearts and brains out one day
Would we be as elegant as we look today?
Or would we be ashamed beyond the veils and shadows of darkness
Would we be winning pageants
Or would we be eliminated at the preliminary round?
Would we be flaunting ourselves with confidence
Or would we hide in our coffin of shame?

Truth is you can never go shop for a pure heart
Truth is no matter what defines your beauty outside
Only you can define your beauty inside
Truth is no one is going to notice what you wear in your coffin
But they will remember what you wore in your heart every day of your life
Truth is people won't remember what kind of dresses you wore
Floral, laces, high-waisted
But they will remember that time you bought them lunch, talked to them and helped them.

It saddens this fragile heart of mine
When we don't embrace our beauty
But buy cheap beauties
That only last as long as our skins don't wrinkle, our hair don't fall off and our muscles don't sag
And what fills them inside, is pure emptiness.

So what is beauty?
Beauty is exchanging your inner fashion with your outer personality
Beauty is speaking your mind, laughing your heart out
It is those moments you find the strength to get up every time you fall
It is walking around with a slice of spinach stuck on your teeth
It is wearing the wrong socks for an entire day
It is simply not being afraid to live life.
It is about embracing the good and bad life throws at you
School, college, university, work, marriage, kids, grandkids
Till the day and moment where it's just you
With your wrinkles, blurry eyesight and grey strands
Looking yourself in the mirror
And say "Wow, you are beautiful".

-4th April 2011 | 1.11am

Vintage

2011-05-03T00:55:00.004+08:00

"Be thankful for what you have, you'll end up having more.

If you concentrate on what you don't have, you'll never ever have enough."

-Oprah Winfrey

It's called Spoken Word Poetry. And it opened my eyes to a whole new world of words. Back in the highschool days, I was exposed to the whole concept of vocality. (Nope, it's not a real word) Being in the Malaysian education system, I found out that that's not what the system really advocates. It's not what we students are encouraged to do. It's not how we're taught to behave. Speaking your mind, thinking of arguments on your feet, allowing yourself to express what matters to you. That made my world. But my world was limited within the narrow scope of debates and public speaking. And boy, did I love them.

The hours of preparation and practice, to the critical point of perfection. The rush of adrenaline as I prepared myself minutes before the big speech. The faces of fascination and awe that stared back at me as if they clung on to every single word that came out of my mouth. The sweet aroma of victory at the end of the day making everything worth it. The pride of the school as certificates were printed, medals were won.

Watching that video changed my life, literally. It totally blew my mind as I was exposed to this whole new world of speech. What attracted me most was the freedom and flexibility of it all. In Spoken Word Poetry, there's no restriction format, no bell to remind you to stop at the 5th minute, no formality of what you can say and what you can't. In fact, you don't even need to make sense. It's just you, your thoughts and your words.

Ever since that glorious day when I was introduced to my now, love of my life, I have been journaling and writing pages and pages of spoken word. Some are significant life events that happened, some merely thoughts and opinions, and even some intelligent discoveries. All in all, spoken word is all about expressing yourself, your world and your ideas.

One of the pivotal reasons behind this blog was to share with you bits and pieces of my very own spoken word. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I do hope you enjoy it either way. I'm fully aware that reading spoken word is not and will not be as effective as speaking it aloud. But I'm waaaaayyyyy too shy to be self-recording myself and posting it up. So I'm just gonna post the raw material and hopefully, you'll be able to imagine the intonation, voice it out in your head and it plays perfectly just like how Sarah Kay speaks it. ;)

Vintage

30th March 2011

From those tiny tots to teenage bras

My mama prayed and hoped I'd become everything I can be

Values, attitudes, character

Instilled, drained and drilled into my being.

But as I grew,

I met many faces, many characters, many colours

And I often wondered what they thought about me.

Kind, caring, friendly?

Nah, too cliche.

Nice, beautiful, sweet?

Honey, save that for my obituary.

Vintage.

The first word that shaped my life
By someone I highly respected

Despite our differences in principles

Ignorant to its meaning,

Oblivious to its impact.

Characterized by its excellence, maturity and enduring appeal.

Classic, they say.

Ooo, I like that sound of that.

For I was loud

Louder than any other being.

Laughed my lungs out

Spoke my heart out

Fought my mind out

I stood by my principles

Honour thy father and mother,

Be humble,

Stay true to yourself.

I love surprises

I believe the gentlemen should go after the lady

I hope to get married and have a house-full of children someday.

I enjoy a good love story

I watch sunsets

I go on dates.

It's funny, how a young soul like me

To be called an old soul at heart.

It's origin derives from a yield of wine or grapes from a vineyard

Or district during one season

I guess my life's like that

Deriving experiences, memories, love

From one season to another

For every season holds its smiles

Every season holds its tears

And me?

I'm collecting them all from every season

And making them into the sweetest

Most delicious barrel of wine

It ain't easy being a vintage

Grabbing onto principles as hard as grabbing on to life

Saying no when you have to

Asking why you can't when others can

Being vintage.

It's all about being who your parents raised you to be

It's about realizing your value and holding on to it

It's about not selling your soul to the world

It's about looking into the future and seeing what lies ahead

It's about fighting a good race

It's about picking yourself back up again every time you fall

It's about embracing the new and figuring it with the old

So, what does being vintage really mean?

I don't really know.

And that's why I am.

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a dome.

2011-05-02T00:34:00.002+08:00

"So go ahead, fall down. The world looks different from the ground."

- Oprah Winfrey

This is the German Parliament. It's called the Reichstag.

Okay so this is what Law School has done to me. Got me talking about politics, parliaments and stuff. But do bear with me, it's fascinating. Well, to me at least.

It was during a General Principles of Law (GPL) lecture that I was introduced to this spectacular one-of-a-kind architecture and it kinda stayed at the back of my mind for weeks. The whole ingenious concept of it, the truthful idea, the very intricate meaning behind it all - it simply boggled my mind.

Notice the huge transparent dome right on top of the building? - That's the fascination of it all.

The dome offers a 360 degree view of the city. But not only that, the dome also offers the view of the main hall of the parliament - where laws are made. People are freely allowed to tour the dome at any given day. The whole idea? - It is to remind those lawmakers that the people are watching them from above. It is to remind them that the people are above them, not below them. That they are serving the people, not the other way round. It is to provide transparency of the whole system the country relies on. I would assume that once in a while, the Members of Parliament would look up and get rebuked for creating selfish-desired laws, for taking advantage of the people, or even attempting to incorporate corruption into the system. And it's all just by looking up.

This whole thing got me thinking. Yes, if you haven't already noticed, I have this habit of applying things to my own life. It can get rather annoying after a while, but for now, I'm rather grateful for it. Okay so as I was saying, our lives are exactly the same. We are all living our busy little lives in the lower Parliament building - running our daily routines, climbing our corporate leaders, sometimes losing focus on our goals and what on earth are we really here for. And then there's the big Boss up there in the dome, looking right through at any given moment of any given day.

You see, the real problem is, sometimes, we just forget to look up. We forget that God is in the dome just watching us - every fall, every victory, every smile, every tear. We think our lives are opaque, hiding our deepest darkest secrets in dirty closets. We think God is so far away, unreachable, unreal.

But the truth of the matter is, God is just right up there. Our lives are so transparent that he sees everything, he knows everything. And sometimes, we lose focus on what are we doing, why are we here and who are we doing it for. It's time we look up and remind ourselves - just like how the Members of the Parliament look up and remind themselves why are they there, what are they doing and who are they doing it for. They're doing it for the people, we're doing it for God. Also, we need to remember that God is only a dome away. So, why are we busy struggling when we can just look up?

I have to say, never in a million years would I have thought that an old boring building would change my life. But it did. I see life in a whole different light now, knowing that God is in that dome looking down at me all the time. And that no matter what happens, I can always look up and remind myself that He's there. Nope, I won't be able to hear him audibly or know what is he thinking, just like how the Members of Parliament down there won't hear the people up there or know what they are thinking. But by simply seeing their presence upon them, it is good enough a reminder. Similarly, by knowing and seeing God's presence, it's a huge reminder to me that I have one amazing God - One who cares enough for me to look through my little transparent window and see how I'm doing.

So hey, let's all start looking up and remind ourselves of what needs to be reminded, shall we? Writing this post, I am reminded of one of those classic songs that lasts through the generations. This song was written after the war to remind people that truly, God Is Watching Us From A Distance.

And on a random note, if you're lost, you can start googling God for answers. You'll be amazed at the search results. :)

Have a blessed week ahead!

The Autopilot Makes Mistakes Too

2011-04-30T01:25:00.008+08:00

"When a defining moment comes along,
you can do one of the two things.

You define the moment, or let the moment define you."

So the day started off pretty awful, and it all started with one wrong turn. It's funny to me how I drive on autopilot mode every single day (on the same route) and today, I just went off track. It was like my mind, body and soul were not in sync. My mind was probably still asleep in my cozy room since it was raining early in the morning, my body was subconsciously driving my super-myvi and my soul was well, just floating in random motions somewhere on the realm of the Earth.

One wrong turn made a whole lot of difference. Kinda reminded me of my favourite poem:

"I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

- The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost

Well today, I took the one just as frequently traveled by everybody, and it still made all the difference. I was stuck in a major jam, and I was going to be late for class. In other terms, I ended up from Kesas to Federal. Genius.

It wasn't until I've got pretty far along towards the town that I realized I was using the wrong way. So I got unpleasantly stuck in the jam (as usual). At that moment, approaching the multitude of cars ahead, I had two options; 1) continue straight ahead since I was already half way there; 2) U-turn back and get back on track, although I knew I'd be late for class.

This morning's events got me thinking. Sometimes in life, it happens to us too. We run on autopilot. We go through our daily routines, without even being aware of it. The zeal, passion and fire when we were young; to change the world, to make a difference, to make our lives count, all died gradually in the process. We run on life's treadmill, and yes, no doubt there's motion, but hey, let's not mistake motion for progress. At the end of the day, we end exactly where we started. We become hamsters running effortlessly on the hamster-wheel, losing life's purpose. We feel accomplished, proud, fulfilled, but then we take a look down at our feet, and realize we are still in the same spot.

And then life throws us the wrong turn. We lose our sense of direction, we get shaken up and right there, it's our chance to make a choice.

1) To continue the journey and get stuck in a jam;
2) To make a U-turn in the opposite direction and start journeying.

Some of us are comfortable with the first option. Life's merely a temporary home. We live simple, we die simple. No biggie. We climb the corporate leader, we boss people around, we earn lots of money. That's how we'd like to be remembered. We continue getting 'stuck in the jam'. It's alright, cause we're gonna be late for class anyway. We just accept that we've made the wrong turn and deal with it.

And then there are some of us, who can't sit still, who gets frequent fireworks of passion and colour in life. These are the people who take chances, take risks, try new things. Someone wise once said,

"Have the courage to try, dare to move and take steps.

If you succeed, you'll be happy. If you fail, you'll be wise."

Very well said indeed. And these people make the unbearable U-turn. They move in a different direction. They say "You know what, I already know there's a jam ahead, so why get stuck? Let's try the other highway." And these people pray hard that they will still make it on time, someway, somehow.

In life, it's up to you. Whether you're on autopilot, or you're fully in control of your being. But I sure do hope that at the end of the day, all of us do make that U-turn if we need to. And once we made that U-turn, He will make sure that not only will you have a smooth, safe journey ahead, but also that you get to class on time, just like how I did today. :)

Blessings!

Inspiration

2011-04-28T22:14:00.005+08:00

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass,

it is about learning to dance in the rain."

Hello there.

If you're reading this, thank you for taking the time and effort to be curious about what this is all about, for having the interest to what I'm up to.

For old time friends, yes I'm back! After over a year on hiatus, I've decided to once again dedicate and commit myself to a public journal that hopes to inspire you. I'd have to admit that I stopped blogging due to the lack of free time and what not. I could come up with a thousands reason why I stopped. But above all, more than anything, my life grew dry. I stopped blogging because my life grew dry. Not merely I had nothing to blog about, but rather I had nothing close to valuable to share. So I saved myself from normal daily ramblings and stopped.

Recently, I took the time to revisit my old abandoned blog and I was astonished. I was flabbergasted at how eventful my life was. How deep, connected and valuable my life experiences were to me. How every detail was journaled, recorded and analyzed. How grateful I was for simple things in life and how mature I was in dealing with life. I felt sad, that I lost that. That that maturity I once knew, faded away.

With the overwhelming flow of social networks nowadays, most of us forget how to journal things down. I've come to realize that Facebook is simply too public, and as much as I adore Twitter, it limits me to 140 characters per tweet. So this blog? Well this blog is my avenue. This is where I share my thoughts, feelings, desires with no word limit, no likes and no comments. It is for me to click on one day and smile at myself at 19.

My favourite personality Oprah Winfrey had always asked this question to most of her quests and it soon become one of my favourite questions in life. She would display a picture of her quest in highschool and would proceed to ask "If you had a chance now, what would you have told your younger you?"

Well, in simple terms, this blog is for myself to grow old one day, look back and ask myself "What would you have told that young Irin?" It is for me to look back and say "Hey, that was a good one!" or "Hmm, you could've handled that better." All in all, this is for me to share with you what makes up my life.

So I guess this would suffice for an introduction. This is me signing off from a nostalgic comfort zone, a nice cup of frappuccino, soothing jazz music, the hustle and bustle of Starbucks, four middle-aged ladies opposite me having their weekly dose of girls-night-out session (which I will make it a point to have when I grow old!) and with my BFF studying his physics-butt off!

So, I hope that you, whoever you may be, be entertained, triggered and most importantly inspired reading life through my eyes. My victories, my falls, my smiles, my tears, my struggles, my joy.

Welcome to Her Defining Moments.